and now, Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey

Everytime I see the post "Clinton Avenue is a winner," it reminds me of my favorite Deep Thought from Saturday Night Live's Jack Handey:

I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a fresh load of tadpoles to the old board of his. Then he’d spin it round and round, like a wheel of fortune, and no matter where it stopped he’d yell out, “Tadpoles! Tadpoles is a winner!” We all thought he was crazy. But then we had some growing up to do.

That one would crack my girlfriends and me up for hours in high school.
Here's another good one:

For a while there, instead of calling Grandpa "Grandpa," I started calling him "Grandpappy." But he didn't like that, and asked me to go back to Grandpa. So I did, but I changed it a little. I put an "e" in instead of an "a," so it became "Grendpa."
At first he didn't notice, but then he said, "What did you call me?"
"Grandpa," I said. But then I went back to calling him Grendpa. Finally he said to go ahead and call him Grandpappy, which I did, only I changed it a little bit to "Grendpeppy."